Fuck the Toll Road

JC LOV U
Originally uploaded by dcdan.

The only annoying thing about my new job is that while the client site is downtown and a short walk and Metro ride away, my office, where I was today is all the way out in MF'ing Reston (though actually Herndon but they are really the same thing.) This means that the fastest way for me to get there is via the Dulles Toll Road. Not only was the road named after a sketchy CIA director, it is pretty much filled with people who live only to annoy me. On the way out, I watched as the person in front of me would throw one quarter at a time into the basket wait fifteen seconds for it to be counted and then throw another until the requisite 75 cents were accepted, the only saving grace is that the douche bag didn't have nickels. I waited around and stayed late to avoid traffic on the way home only to be confronted by yet another toll road idiot, this guy apparently forgot where he was going today and hence had NO FUCKING CA$H WHEN HE GOT ON THE TOLL ROAD. To make matters worse apparently the toll commission decided that to discourage this behavior the process to make up for it involves filling out papers writing down license plates and trying to prove the Riemann hypothesis only after this is all completed you can pass through, which seems like a fair penalty for some one who gets on a toll road with out any money, unfortunately it also punishes yours truly as I had to sit behind this fucker.
Therefore here is DC Dan's advice for people who drive the toll road.

• Throw all those coins in at once, the machines can handle it


• Remember to bring cash


• In the exact change lane, the "exact" pulls double duty, you have the exact amount AND you know exactly where that change is, meaning I'd better not see you looking in the back seat for it


• No matter what time of the day , taking 495 to the George Washington Speedway will ALWAYS be faster than taking the perpetually jammed Route 66.