Protect Your Johnson No Matter How Magic You Think it is

Donald's message is in italics, my comments are in bold

Networks Set To Begin Airing Condom Ads In Prime Time

Dear Daniel,


Well at least their mass marketing software got my first name right


CBS and ABC have said they are seriously considering airing condom ads during prime time and daytime television. NBC and Fox and other networks will follow their lead.


This is par for the course a couple of networks lead and some follow, are you concerned that the conservative Fox network may not get high dollar revenue as soon as the "liberal media" CBS and ABC do because Fox is coming late to the game?


I hope this concerns you as much as it does me. The condom companies say their purpose in airing their ads is to help stop the spread of disease. So, why do their ads promote products like "Warm Sensations" and "Twisted Pleasure"?


I'm a little concerned because they don't mention that condom usage is also effective at preventing pregnancy. The reason that they promote products like "Warm Sensations" and "Twisted Pleasure" It is based on a technique companies have learned to use called "Marketing" I'm somewhat knowledgeable about as it as I have a business degree (Go Badgers by the way) I thought marketing was a well known tool, but apparently its not as well known as I had thought. You see marketing is supposed to make a product seem attractive. I know that if I'm at a bar talking to a couple of ladies and Kim says "Hey do you want to go back to my place and prevent disease?" and Cookie says "Hey do you want to go back to my place and have some warm sensatons?" I know that Cookie will be the one earning my, ahem, attention.


Don't be fooled by their double-speak. If the networks decide to break their self-imposed policy of not airing condom ads, we'll soon have Church & Dwight's "Trojan Man" ads bombarding our children at every turn.


Again I'm not seeing your point, it has been established time and time again that children who are educated about birth control methods are MORE likely to take proper precautions when they do (and mostly likely will) have sex. Additionally if you want to keep YOUR children ignorant well I personally think that is pretty shitty parenting, but I guess based on your past stances on things like science (i.e evolution) you are pretty fond of ignorance, which I think is a far more damaging technique, than sharing facts and knowledge with your kids. I'd much rather buy my child a box of condoms, than have them engaging in unprotected sex and if they learn about safe sex via me, friends, sex education in school or a commercial during the NCAA tournament, I more than comfortable with it. Don't worry Trojan (my favorite brand) and LifeStyles won't advertise during Sponge Bob because the seven year old demographic is having enough sex to market to.


You can expect that these ads will be aired repeatedly, especially during sporting events.


Again, go Badgers! I will also need to look into this watching sports thing getting you laid. Marketing is usually very targeted and apparently sports watchers get laid a lot otherwise they would NOT be showered with all of these marketing dollars


The networks and condom companies don't really care about what they advertise when our children are watching television. They want to make money! That's why one company president said, "…we could quadruple this business." Does that sound like a company that has our children's best interest in mind?


Wow, I guess I learned more in business school than I had imagined, you see the goal, nay the responsibility, of the executives of companies is to increase shareholder value, in fact that is the only reason that the company exists (despite what they tell you in their marketing), and I'd be willing to bet a dollar that quadrupling business will increase shareholder value, in fact in this case it is coupled with a social good, preventing the spread of STDs and unwanted pregnancies, you aren't advocating abortion are you Donald?


Do you want the networks to start airing condom ads all hours of the day? Once condom companies get their foot in the door, it's only a matter of time before the ads will get more and more graphic.


You and I may agree here if television only existed to show condom ads it would probably loose some viewers they should only show the ads in sixty and thirty seconds spots during television shows and sporting events. Though your second point of "it's only a matter of time before the ads will get more and more graphic" I think you may be on to something if you put free porn on TV all day showing people using condoms and it was supplemented with ads by Trojan and LifeStyles, I may consider getting a television.


Please send an email message to the six major networks that use public-owned airwaves. Let them know you want them to reject any offers to air condom ads on network television.


I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one, ads that promote social good and help companies make money I'm going to encourage it. If anything I'm going to write them about the twenty-four hour porn/condom ad network that you inspired, maybe the WB will be able to finally get some respect.

Sincerely,
DC Dan